Wishing Us All A Happy Solstice
Here's to the coming of the light
When I left my corporate job in the middle of 2023, I was still very much in the overachiever mindset. I had decided to take a 6 month sabbatical, but I was very determined to MAKE THE ABSOLUTE MOST of all my sabbatical time.
Which means I designed a very detailed spreadsheet to keep track of my progress towards my sabbatical goals. Yes, really. I sat down and developed 12 very specific goals and metrics for several areas of my life, including these:
Health: I planned to track daily steps and weekly weight lifting workouts.
Reading: I gave myself a very aggressive book reading goal.
Gratitude: I had a weekly goal to mail 2 thank you cards to random people I encountered anywhere in my life.
Creative: I committed to posting a daily photo from my real life to instagram.
I’m happy to report I’ve long since abandoned that crazy sabbatical spreadsheet. Who does that anyway?! Eventually my 6 month sabbatical turned into 12 months, then 24 months and then it became self-employment. I’ve happily stopped tracking all the books I read. But I haven’t stopped taking a daily photo and I wrote more about this creative habit here.
I’ve kept going with this one simple habit because it doesn’t feel like a chore or obligation, it still feels creative and fun. I’m not a huge fan of social media, but I enjoy the personal accountability I have in posting some random picture every day.
Which caused me to realize I’ve been posting my daily photos for almost 3 years now. And then I had another random realization…
My habit of posting a daily picture has helped me towards becoming a writer.
This daily habit has helped me learn how to trust. How to trust both myself and the wider world. I’ve learned to trust that no matter where I am in the world, no matter how mundane my life might seem, I can always pay attention to find something scenic. I can always find something worth capturing in a simple iphone snap.
I’ve learned to trust the world is always providing incredible scenery, both ordinary and beautiful.
I’ve learned that I’m always capable of paying attention to whatever is happening around me.
I’ve learned to trust the world to provide meaningful moments and to trust myself to notice them. This habit has also helped me learn some important things about the creative process.
First and foremost, I can’t try to write. Creating is not a matter of will power. All I can do is show up and allow myself to write. Less effort. More surrender.
When I go for a daily walk around my neighborhood, I start out knowing that I’ll want to snap a picture of something unique, something that catches my attention. But I can’t start out chasing a picture, striving after it. I cannot focus on my expectation for an outstanding picture, I can’t demand that of myself or my walk.
What I can do is put away my work for a few minutes and allow myself to wander. I can go outside and keep all my senses open, eyes and ears and everything. Not chasing, not striving, not trying. Simply listening and allowing. Showing up and paying attention, in a way that’s receptive and open. Without any expectations or demands.
With both photography and writing, I can allow myself to listen to the world around me and I can pay attention to whatever is most alive.
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I think this lesson applies to many other areas of life, not just writing. I think this applies to becoming a better partner, a better spouse, a better parent or a better friend. Because these roles - like being a writer - don’t respond well to expectations or demands.
These roles respond better to allowing and surrendering. We do better when we give up perfection in order to allow something more real to emerge. Because perfection is never natural, it’s always a performance full of effort and striving.
These days I’m less interested in effort and performance towards perfection, I’m more interested in whatever is messy and real.
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Speaking of messy and real, tis the season for both year end reflections and new year planning. Many people are evaluating the year behind us, while brainstorming goals for the year ahead. Since I’m still trying to give up on spreadsheets, I will offer some alternative advice, better suited for today’s winter solstice.
Might you consider trying less and surrendering more? In the year ahead, could you strive less and allow more? Considering changing your verbs in the new year to be more about trusting and less about demanding. Trusting yourself to figure things out. Trusting in the world to provide everything you need. (Of course when I say ‘you’ I really mean ‘me.’)
Maybe you don’t need new year’s goals or metrics. Maybe you could trust yourself to navigate whateve the new year will bring with your heart wide open. Breathtaking beauty. Ordinary moments. Setbacks and challenges and disappointments, all of it. Joy and sadness. Sunrises and sunsets. Celebrations and grief.
I hope both you - and I - will remember the words of poet Mary Oliver in the year ahead:
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting,
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things
I’m wishing us all a happy solstice today, as we mark this turning point between darkness and light. May we surrender to whatever lies ahead and may we trust that we don’t need a spreadsheet full of goals to navigate everything the new year will bring.
This is so you! Both approaches. Happy solstice. I love your daily photos.
“Less effort, more surrender” ❤️ What a beautiful concept.