I Did The Thing

and I hope you do too

Apr 21, 2026

In the end, stories are about one person saying to another: This is the way it feels to me. Can you understand what I’m saying? Does it also feel this way to you? — Kazuo Ishiguro, 2017 Nobel Prize acceptance speech

The hardest part of writing my first novel was that no one could tell me how to write my first novel. No one could give me an exact roadmap for something that’s so personal and mysterious. There are plenty of craft books about writing, but none of them explain how to sit down and face the thing you’re scared to do.

The second hardest part was tolerating my own incompetence. It was painful and uncomfortable to attempt something I did not know how to do well. I had to live with myself doing something badly. To make mistakes and be willing to proceed anyway.

The only way forward was to muddle my way through. And trust myself to figure it out.

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When I left my job in 2023, I was fifty years old. After twenty-five years in the corporate world, I wanted to take a break and I was afraid to take a break. I was highly employable and had many good opportunities. My boyfriend and I had lots of discussions about my options. Then he asked me this: When I look back at this time in my life, what would I regret not doing?

I knew instantly the answer was to write this book. Not to write any book, it wasn’t a vague feeling about writing in general. It was a very specific feeling that I had to write this book, with these characters and this story that had been living in my head for a decade. I wanted to get this book out of my head and into the world.

I think he expected me to say something more conventional, like go to Italy or Greece or Amsterdam. Something where we could buy a plane ticket and check the box, and then I could return to a regular paycheck. That was the original plan: I’d take a six-month sabbatical, write this book, and then return to a comfortable corporate job.

Hahaha! The best laid plans of mice and men. It’s three years later and that feels like a lifetime ago.

In a recent interview discussing the limitations of AI, Brandon Sanderson said the key value of art is that it changes the person who attempts it. Committing to write a novel means giving yourself over to it completely. Surrendering to it. I am not the same person I was when I started writing this book.

The night before my first Ironman triathlon, a friend told me: “This is the last day of your life that you won’t be an Ironman.” I laughed, because I wasn’t at all certain about my ability to finish, I was only confident that I would start. This book journey was the same. I was never certain in my ability to finish, I only knew that I had to start.

And now I’m a person who wrote a book. Perhaps it’s more accurate to say that I surrendered to the book that wanted to be written through me. And no matter what happens in my future, I am at peace with myself, because I did the thing I was compelled to do.

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I wrote four drafts of this novel while traveling in seven different states. More than twenty people have read various chapters and drafts. The longest version was 137,000 words, and the current version is a more polished 86,000. When I finished editing this weekend, and I celebrated the fact that I’d cut out 20,000 words of redundant writing, my boyfriend asked me: “Wouldn’t it have just been easier and faster to write fewer words in the first place?” Why yes, that’s a great idea, my sweet software engineer. Why didn’t I think of that?

In the past three years, I’ve reshaped my life around writing. I’ve figured out where and how I work best. I found several new writing communities and made several dear writing friends. I’ve been inspired by many good books and so many talented authors. And I’ve outlined my next three books.

Now it’s time to put the pen down on this one. Although I must confess I’m afraid to stop making improvements and trust this manuscript is good enough. It turns out that striving for perfection is a hard habit to give up.

Now I need to have faith that I wrote the best story I’m capable of writing. I’ve poured myself into this, and it’s time to let go. And figure out how to publish this book so it takes flight in the world. Because I didn’t write it for me, I wrote it for other people.

I know not everyone wants to write a book. But my journey isn’t only about writing a book, it’s about doing the thing that calls to you. No matter that it might not be logical, it might not make sense, it might not be what everyone expects you to do.

I hope you do the thing that you cannot not do.

I didn’t choose to write a book as much as I surrendered to the urge to write this book. I stopped resisting.

I hope you stop resisting whatever calls to you. Listen to it and trust it. Give yourself over to it. I guarantee you won’t regret it. At the end of the day, you’ll be able to say you did the thing that called to you.